The Strive for Singularity and Similarity

I was walking through the school supplies area at Walmart with my friend when I looked down and saw a notebook and folder with Mickey Mouse on it.

My mind instantly returned to that back-to-school time in September when everyone goes out and buys their notebooks and folders and how I thought about how I always buy plain ones because I'm afraid someone else will have it if I buy one with graphics.

As random as that little flashback was, it got me thinking. Then I began to wonder, "Why do I care so much about having the same thing as someone else? Why does anyone?"

With me having such an inquiring mind, I had to look it up. After some Googling, lo and behold, it all made sense. 

Although I find it to be most noticeable in high school, the strive for distinction affects almost everyone. It's called the "Optimal Distinctive Theory" and was proposed in 1991 by Dr. Marilynn Brewer. The theory states that when people find themselves too similar to a group of people, they dissimilate. But when they are too different from a smaller, more personal group, they attempt to become more alike and find things in common.

I reflected on situations I've been in and realized how accurate this theory is. I applied the theory to high school and was once again amazed by the accuracy. 

For example, I hate looking like every other girl. I hate being like every other girl. I love wearing weird T-shirts and weird shoes and having crazy hair. I love listening to music other people haven't heard of and I hate shopping at Abercrombie and Hollister. I want people to know I have personality just by looking at me. I completely fall victim to optimal distinctiveness. 

Optimal distinctiveness isn't only about being different though-- it's also about being alike. We all know that person who changes his mind frequently and agrees with whomever he's talking to. That's a psychological thing too, and also something I fall victim too. Even though I am loyal to my opinions, I do like to assimilate if I'm in a personal group. It always feels great talking to someone at a social event and realizing you have things in common.

Thinking about this deeper, I reflected in other places. I thought of high school groups and cliques. I always sort of scoff at them because typically, everyone in the group is exactly the same. Little did I know that them being exactly the same is just like me being different: Optimal Distinctiveness. It's just what their brain is programmed to do. 

So next time you judge someone who is donning some outlandish garb along with a few tattoos, or someone who lacks individuality within a group, think about how you fall victim to optimal distinctiveness.

We may act and look differently from one another, but after all, we all share a similar brain- the human brain.