To Young Adults: 'Please Don't Do It' — No. 4

Third of four parts.

My fourth “Please don’t do it” is smoking. I’ll tell you what it did to my two younger brothers. Allen, five years younger than me, was diagnosed with emphysema more than 10 years ago and his doctor advised him to quit smoking. His choice was to start rolling his own because it was cheaper that way.

In late April 2010, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and on Aug. 17; he was dead at age 53. He was unconscious the last time I saw him, kidneys had shut down, pneumonia was in both lungs, the liver was failing, a respirator was doing his breathing, chemo had thinned out his hair and his body was bloated with massive pain killers. There is nothing cool, feminine or masculine about the loss or quality of life.

My other brother was Eugene, two and half-years younger than me.  He, too, had been a longtime heavy smoker. Although he quit in the late summer 1998, age 44, it was too late. 

On Oct. 26, 1998, I was preparing to work my night shift at Erickson power plant in Lansing — seven days a week and long hours. I got a phone call from a friend about 5 p.m. and he told me: “An ambulance picked up Gene and he doesn’t look good.”

I asked if my mom knew and no one knew where she was at. I thanked my friend, told him I was headed out the door to McPherson Hospital in Howell, would visit my brother, get the facts, then track down mom.

I remember telling myself on the way there that it can’t be too serious. He’s only 44, he’s the thinnest one in the family, we all had low cholesterol and he is physically active, but the urgency in my friend’s voice, Gene’s years of heavy smoking and with my dad’s recent heart attack and death - a smoker worried me.

It’s a small world. The ER nurse was a well-educated single mother of a Howell High School daughter. She was struggling some, financially. Gene’s specialty was marble bathrooms, sinks, fireplaces, be he could it all. He had just finished putting a new roof on her house and only charged for the materials which he got at a discount and his helpers wages.

She told the doctors, “I know this man. This is a good man.”

She implored them: “Don’t give up,” and they tried everything humanely possible.

She was crying when she saw me coming in the door, gave me a hug and said, “Gene didn’t make it.” I remember going to my brother’s side and the two doctors, still standing there, absolutely hung their heads. I gave the nurse another hug and told her I had to go home and make some phone calls, especially mom needed to know.

I located her on the second attempt, easily the worse phone call I ever made in my life. It starts out, “Mom, I’ve got some bad news about Gene,” and it goes down hill from there. She was crushed, all because of the cigarette. Gene’s left aorta was blocked and he had major artery disease.

Be very careful if you ever think or hear somebody say something like, “One or two cigarettes never hurt anyone.”

A group of 11 and 12-year-olds had to be told, “Your religious education teacher will not be teaching you anymore." The teenagers were told, “Your coordinator of activities has passed away.” The softball team had to find a new manager and Gene’s gospel singing on the old court house lawn in Howell was not going to happen.

There was so much more.

Editor's note: This is the third of four parts that publish a speech Harley made May 9 during public comment before the Hartland Board of Education. He has since decided to share it here in a series of blog posts. You can hear Harley in his own words by clicking on the video.

For part one, click here.

For part two, click .

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